...In case you needed to be reminded of that. I do all the time because in my humanness, I doubt him. You crazy, foo?!
Today I prayed, Lord please help me find my folder. Help me remember where I put it. A few minutes later, I thought of a different place to look. God planted that thought in my mind to help me find my folder I misplaced yesterday, because He answers us when we call to Him.
My roommate, Jess, is leaving early tomorrow morning. For the first time, I will be truly alone tomorrow morning and afternoon on my walks to and from school. That feeling won't last long though because I'm moving in with Amanda and Melanie tomorrow too!
I was going back through my Gmail deleting past e-mails when I came across some things that surprised me.
Two years ago, in October, I wrote a friend I had recently met from Brazil; I told her how I had hoped to do an internship in South America the following summer. I don't even remember that desire now! Yet, here I am fairly close to South America, working for a school in the DR.
Also, I found an e-mail from Teach for America's staff letting me know I was confirmed to interview for the Campus Campaign Coordinator position. This was in April of last year; it seems like lightyears ago that I was praying about working for them. The prayer came into fruition this past fall, and I can't believe that time has already come and gone as well!
We really don't give God enough credit.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
snakes and the good shepherd
My Shepherd Will Supply My Need
-Isaac Watts-
My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy's sake,
In paths of truth and grace.
-Isaac Watts-
My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy's sake,
In paths of truth and grace.
When I walk through the shades of death,
Thy presence is my stay;
A word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.
Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.
Thy presence is my stay;
A word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.
Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.
The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days;
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise!
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home.
Attend me all my days;
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise!
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home.
-- random pic I hope you enjoy --Chad let me hold this beaut of a creature, pic taken outside of the cafe.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
To the Grand Ladies in my life...Salud!
I finished "Gardenias for Breakfast" by Robin Jones Gunn last night, and it has now been added to my favorites list.
My mind has been drifting homeward lately, and that's not even my desire. James Taylor's "Carolina in my Mind" has struck some chords, and even though it's written about that other state right above mine, the lyrics still hit exactly the right note. I'm not ready to come home, but then again, I think I am. "Yes I'm up and goin' to Carolina in my mind..."
My new favorite novel reminded me of home in the ways it talked about another favorite of mine: fried okra. There was mention of Atlanta and Louisiana, Southern drawls, homemade cornbread baking in the oven, and fireflies. Gardenias, vegetable stands, aunt's stories of cotillions past, Mt. Zion roadside chapels with steeples and bells, and the Piggly Wiggly or "Hoggly Woggly" as my family says. Humidity, hammocks, porchswings, Sunday afternoon naps, sweet tea, and "Sugah" petnames. Another favorite mention of homemade peach cobbler, lemon meringue pie, and the best gift of all -- grandma's pearls.
These things and James Taylor's sweet, honestly sung words have carried my mind elsewhere in my daydreams, but really I wanted to write about my Grand Ladies. In "Gardenias for Breakfast," the grandmother went by "Grand Lady," and I want to do my best sharing my heart for my two Grand Ladies.
Betty Stoddard and Myrtle Sublett were one-of-a-kind Southern gems. Indeed, each of them was a Grand Lady in my eyes. I sat teary-eyed and weepy last night, joyous rather than sad over memories I will forever keep in my mind.
For those of you who are from the South reading this, you know how much a Southern woman can impact you. For those of you who are not, you most likely still know how much a Southern woman can impact you.
To MaMa, my artiste extraordinare. You taught me about hospitality and enjoying company. I cherish the times I spent with you painting and drawing. Creativity was a true gift that you opened up to all; art was not a born talent in your eyes, but rather you wanted all to experience the great wonder. Your hair was always fixed, and you were always ready to greet anyone who stopped by. I was reminded of you particularly at the point in the story when the great granddaughter talks about her Grand Lady never possessing a driver's license. To some people, driving means true freedom and stands for so much. No one would have guessed you missed "true freedom" in that case, because you were as happy as a lark right where you were. Magnolias blooming outside befit your elegance and grace, your sweet Southern charm. I don't know that I ever heard you say a negative word, even if you were thinking it. You saw the true beauty of life and God's creation. Thank you for teaching me so much, especially to love those around me and to include everyone.
To Grandma Myrtle, my best friend. Even though we didn't talk about all of the hard things in life, I will always hold you as my nearest and dearest friend in my heart. I didn't have to spend days on end with you to know how you felt about me. The part that struck me most in the book was the granddaughter thinking to herself, gazing at her Grand Lady across the table. "I kept smiling at Grand Lady, and each time I did, she smiled back. She saw me. Even with her aging eyes, she saw me. Her tender gaze made my heart swell. If I had to define why I was so enamored with my grandmother, it would be for this reason. Every other reason would fall in under this one. When I was a blossoming young woman, she looked at me, and she saw me. She saw not only who I was then but also who I would become, and for some reason, she decided to lavish her affection on me. She was the first person in my life that made me feel as if she saw me and loved what she saw."
I felt that way about the way you looked at me. The best part is how pure your glistening blue eyes were; all I saw was love and acceptance, sheer pride. I never saw hatred or anger. If I did, it was only for a mere second. Then, my other favorite thing about you comes into play. Laughter, happiness, joy. "She could still deliver her lines with all the sugary airs of refined sass that only a woman like her could get away with." Grandma, you were killer when it came to humor. Everyone was always bowled over laughing, and if they weren't I was bowled over for them. I've never known a funnier woman, and without much effort at that. Your wide-eyed view of life made me want to soak up every drop then, and I carry that passion with me now.
To the most Grand [Southern] Ladies I know, Salud. Cheers. You are my inspirations as I go about life. I hope I one day inspire my granddaughters and children as much as you inspired those same people throughout your lifetimes. To the strong, graceful, and honeysuckle-sweet women in my life...I thank you.
My mind has been drifting homeward lately, and that's not even my desire. James Taylor's "Carolina in my Mind" has struck some chords, and even though it's written about that other state right above mine, the lyrics still hit exactly the right note. I'm not ready to come home, but then again, I think I am. "Yes I'm up and goin' to Carolina in my mind..."
My new favorite novel reminded me of home in the ways it talked about another favorite of mine: fried okra. There was mention of Atlanta and Louisiana, Southern drawls, homemade cornbread baking in the oven, and fireflies. Gardenias, vegetable stands, aunt's stories of cotillions past, Mt. Zion roadside chapels with steeples and bells, and the Piggly Wiggly or "Hoggly Woggly" as my family says. Humidity, hammocks, porchswings, Sunday afternoon naps, sweet tea, and "Sugah" petnames. Another favorite mention of homemade peach cobbler, lemon meringue pie, and the best gift of all -- grandma's pearls.
These things and James Taylor's sweet, honestly sung words have carried my mind elsewhere in my daydreams, but really I wanted to write about my Grand Ladies. In "Gardenias for Breakfast," the grandmother went by "Grand Lady," and I want to do my best sharing my heart for my two Grand Ladies.
Betty Stoddard and Myrtle Sublett were one-of-a-kind Southern gems. Indeed, each of them was a Grand Lady in my eyes. I sat teary-eyed and weepy last night, joyous rather than sad over memories I will forever keep in my mind.
For those of you who are from the South reading this, you know how much a Southern woman can impact you. For those of you who are not, you most likely still know how much a Southern woman can impact you.
To MaMa, my artiste extraordinare. You taught me about hospitality and enjoying company. I cherish the times I spent with you painting and drawing. Creativity was a true gift that you opened up to all; art was not a born talent in your eyes, but rather you wanted all to experience the great wonder. Your hair was always fixed, and you were always ready to greet anyone who stopped by. I was reminded of you particularly at the point in the story when the great granddaughter talks about her Grand Lady never possessing a driver's license. To some people, driving means true freedom and stands for so much. No one would have guessed you missed "true freedom" in that case, because you were as happy as a lark right where you were. Magnolias blooming outside befit your elegance and grace, your sweet Southern charm. I don't know that I ever heard you say a negative word, even if you were thinking it. You saw the true beauty of life and God's creation. Thank you for teaching me so much, especially to love those around me and to include everyone.
To Grandma Myrtle, my best friend. Even though we didn't talk about all of the hard things in life, I will always hold you as my nearest and dearest friend in my heart. I didn't have to spend days on end with you to know how you felt about me. The part that struck me most in the book was the granddaughter thinking to herself, gazing at her Grand Lady across the table. "I kept smiling at Grand Lady, and each time I did, she smiled back. She saw me. Even with her aging eyes, she saw me. Her tender gaze made my heart swell. If I had to define why I was so enamored with my grandmother, it would be for this reason. Every other reason would fall in under this one. When I was a blossoming young woman, she looked at me, and she saw me. She saw not only who I was then but also who I would become, and for some reason, she decided to lavish her affection on me. She was the first person in my life that made me feel as if she saw me and loved what she saw."
I felt that way about the way you looked at me. The best part is how pure your glistening blue eyes were; all I saw was love and acceptance, sheer pride. I never saw hatred or anger. If I did, it was only for a mere second. Then, my other favorite thing about you comes into play. Laughter, happiness, joy. "She could still deliver her lines with all the sugary airs of refined sass that only a woman like her could get away with." Grandma, you were killer when it came to humor. Everyone was always bowled over laughing, and if they weren't I was bowled over for them. I've never known a funnier woman, and without much effort at that. Your wide-eyed view of life made me want to soak up every drop then, and I carry that passion with me now.
To the most Grand [Southern] Ladies I know, Salud. Cheers. You are my inspirations as I go about life. I hope I one day inspire my granddaughters and children as much as you inspired those same people throughout your lifetimes. To the strong, graceful, and honeysuckle-sweet women in my life...I thank you.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Cockroaches in my hair
No, that does not happen often. But honestly, I feel like it's one more thing to add to the list this week. Wow, is God testing me. Or more likely, I sure am testing Him.
Do you ever feel like you can't think anymore or breathe until you can write? Write it out? That's how I feel right now. I can't do anything else in this moment but write. I am screaming inside. I crave a release. This post will be all over the place, so I hope you're in the mood to stay with me. A sincere apology to those whose e-mails and messages are being avoided right now for my writing thirst that must be immediately quenched in this way.
Cockroaches in my hair -- Last night, I was leaving the bathroom in the dark, in mid-sleepwalk fashion, and this fast-moving object flew through my hair and brushed my cheek. Not only did it scare me, but it gave me that eerie feeling that makes you squeal and throw a quick fit (which I did). Jerked suddenly awake, I scanned the air around me with my flashlight and saw a cockroach scurrying back up my closet door. Gross. I felt violated. Back to bed for me, a little bit spooked.
Group pic -- Today at school, we had our all-campus and then all-staff photo. This was not announced prior to today, and as life seems to go, I hadn't taken a shower. Well, it was mad chaos (borderline organized chaos) getting everyone together. Ten o'clock recess rolled around -- time to head to the soccer field for the pic. People had forgotten, and I was trying to round up faculty and students here and there assuming we were still taking the picture. Surprisingly, the elementary students were organized first and somewhat patient in waiting for the picture-taking to begin. Of course, when the shutter was going off, no one was truly looking at the camera, and we couldn't really hear the photographer counting 1-2-3 or uno, dos, tres...was he? That should be an interesting product.
HEAT -- Hot as Hades. Wish I was joking or being exaggerative. Good Lord, it is hot. I feel much like my clothes have been painted on, and then they're melting off as the day goes on. Quite a change from last week; Mosaic work team from Ohio took all of the breezy, cooler weather with them when they left. (Come back!...like that's the only reason I wish they were still here.)
Spring Cleaning? -- There is a cubby in the classroom above the amphitheatre that needs cleaning out. Anyone who knows me well, (hey you, reading this), knows I love cleaning out things. I volunteered to clean out this area, and there was a time today that was perfect for such a cleaning break. If I wasn't hot before, I only got hotter smothered without a breeze in the little black hole of a space. This classroom would be placed in the semi-outdoor space category, so there's an open hole to the amphitheatre on one wall. There were spiderwebs; spiders in those webs; rat and bat droppings; mildewed, wet papers; dirt, dust, and more dirt and dust. I was scared to lift up papers and scrap pieces of filthy cardboard fearing what may surprise me from underneath. Thankfully, no such surprises occurred. I'm not finished just yet, but I had a great start. "Accomplished" would be a good word to describe the feeling I love to have when I've cleaned and organized a space. What all was in that hole you ask? A tall file cabinet, a chair, Scrabble, files, papers, candles in glass cups, maracas, a drum, books, carpet mats, a cardboard box of paint, a music CD, and a few other things that all aid in cluttering a space.
Art pictures -- This week, my main project has been taking pictures of students' artwork made throughout the semester, to help catalog and save Doulos students' work. Again, if you know me, you know I would love something like this -- a project, involving art and organization. Yes, please. I love taking pictures and the time alone. I love looking through the beautiful creations Erin has helped them create. It's a good reminder of how much I love photography too. I feel blessed in my internship positions for many reasons. Reason 506: I get to experience lots of different tasks and see so many angles of Doulos, its staff, and students.
Trying me -- That's what life here at Doulos does, mainly because we are lacking so many foreign comforts that are easily found in a US school setting. It's a good lacking, in my opinion. In fact, that's something I'll majorly miss when I go home -- being tried frequently. For my example, I'm referring to my art-picture-cataloging project. I don't have a computer to use and have to therefore wait until a stationary computer is available, or until I'm able to "check out" a library laptop to use. I have to go to and from Jonathan's upstairs loft office to the library in the other building to gather things I need for this project, like the camera. We have one campus camera to use. Oh, you need it right now? Ok, I'll work on this later. Flexibility, my friends. It's a good trait to work on or possess. Trying. The camera angle is slightly funky and doesn't take the picture like I see it in the viewfinder; take 4 for Picture #1. I don't possess memory sticks at school, and we have two-or one-stationary computer to use that has a USB drive available when I do need to use a memory stick. So, yeah. You get the gist.
Talent -- Staying on the whole art-review project theme, these kids have talent! Go, artists, go. Ms. Erin's got it goin' on as far as teaching goes. Talk about creativity and true craftsmanship!
Big A** Fans -- I just heard about this fan company you may be aware of already, but check it out for yourself. They made the fan that spins above check-in at the Santiago airport here. That is one BIG A** fan.
Music -- Thank you, God, for music. He never ceases to lift my spirits with His tunes. Right now, John Coltrane's "Vilia" is playing sweet melodies to my ears. I can feel like I am burning in these flames hot as blue blazes, and then my music transports me to a dreamlike state far, far from here and my feigned misery. What is one of the things I miss most about home? Live music. Concerts. Dancing to live music. Feeling the pluck of a bass's strings in my heart, a piano's soothing and energetic ascension. I could continue to describe, but then I might start crying. I'd say I'm doing fine if that's all that makes me want to cry.
We Wear Giant Capes -- Or so says Ciara, our 5th grade teacher. She described my sweaty mane of thick waves draping my neck perfectly. Hair sometimes feels like a cape. Superheroes look free in their costumes, right? Well, when I am hot, all I feel is trapped and smothered with this cape of hair seemingly tied around my neck throughout the day.
Young Life -- I was so excited to help Tim sing worship at YL club this past Tuesday night. For me, I look forward to those nights so much. I am not a leader and therefore cannot and do not attend clubs regularly; I only go when I am needed for worship. We sang "The Reason," "How to Save a Life," and U2's ballad to God, "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." Skits were a riot, the message was powerful and rockin', and kids were abundant. Praise the Lord.
Honest Kiss -- U2's "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" sings "I have kissed honest lips...but I still haven't found what I'm lookin' for." We are told in Proverbs 24:26 that "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips." If you've kissed someone, you know how amazing that is. If you haven't, you can imagine. "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips." How crazy is that?! Honesty is exactly as they say -- refreshing and hard to find. Well, maybe the kissing part isn't hard for you to find, but when it happens is it not great? I don't really give kisses out these days, but I do strive to be honest. I want my life to be an honest picture of walking with Christ. I want my answers to be honest, even when it's painful because as Proverbs tell us, to both parties it really should be like giving -- and I think receiving a kiss on the lips. Honesty. Try on being sexy for size. You know what I mean. There's nothing better than a Godly kind of sexy that has nothing to do with clothes on or off. See Rob Bell's Sex God for more of that bit.
True Rejection -- This is what's on my heart right now. Boy is God breaking me and giving me a reality check -- or a "God-in-my-life-check." In the book we're reading with our Bible study (Beth Moore's "Praying God's Word: Breaking Free From Spiritual Strongholds"), we studied Rejection this week. How powerful of a hold we let that feeling have on our lives. Blech. Ridiculous. They don't like me, I don't look cute, I'm not dating anyone when friends are getting married. LIES. Straight from you know who. Thankfully, God won't and doesn't stand for it. However, we've got to tap into that goodness He gives! I'm also reading this teenage girl book right now (yes, and I don't feel rejected by your thoughts-joke) called Girlfriend, You're a B.A.B.E.! I'm on "A." for "Accepted." I am so accepted, and you are too -- even if you're a boy reading this or a man or father or however you would describe yourself. I've got some blocks that need to be torn down between me and God. I have been here this whole time loving the work God's done in my life, which is so good; in reality, there's a lot more that needs to be done. I'm not truly trusting Him with my heart and His plans for one day "meeting Mr. Right." I've experienced healing from past relationships, I've grown in selflessness and grown out of selfishness (no, I'm sure not fully), I can now see myself married to someone one day soon rather than how I used to think about marriage -- 10 plausible years down the road. Well, Miss Maddie, do you not find your acceptance in Him? I am never, never, ever rejected by God. I am praised by Him and welcomed by Him. My Daddy. God's changed my heart toward that one special relationship, and now I give Him my timing and hopes. 1 Samuel 12:22 I am His and no other's. As I almost wrote "for now," I change it to "now" I am fully content in that knowledge and choose to walk in faith. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Snakes in the Cafe -- Well now, Maddie. That's deceiving. That snake was welcome in the cafe. After school, I was running an errand and walking past the cafe. I heard all of these kids squealing with excitement and nervousness, and I looked over to see Chad holding a boa around his neck. I jumped up with my own excitement to pet it with an "Awww" sound releasing from my mouth. He asked me if I wanted to hold it, and of course my answer was yes! I carried it around, as it continued to constrict itself into a smaller form close to my neck, in perfect snake-like form. Kids wanted to see, wanted to touch -- and quickly pull away. They asked me so many questions I didn't really know the answer to, but I have to say, those snake-holding moments topped my list of best moments of the day. A 3rd grader had brought it to school for Chad to let go behind his house in the mountains. We don't have poisonous snakes here, only poisonous spiders. A friend asked what would happen if he bit me. I said, well, it would hurt but he's not poisonous. And there's comfort in that, right?
Staff Awards -- Today, we had to turn in a form filled out with our nominees for staff awards in true Doulos style. The categories were for one winner in each of the Outward Bound Expeditionary Learning Design Principles, for an overall best teacher and "Doulos of the Year" (see Philippians 2:5-8) staffer, and for each of the following character traits: Honesty, Self-Control, Trustworthiness, Humility, Faithfulness, Patience/Perseverance, Love, Goodness, and Kindness.
Done. And DONE.
Do you ever feel like you can't think anymore or breathe until you can write? Write it out? That's how I feel right now. I can't do anything else in this moment but write. I am screaming inside. I crave a release. This post will be all over the place, so I hope you're in the mood to stay with me. A sincere apology to those whose e-mails and messages are being avoided right now for my writing thirst that must be immediately quenched in this way.
Cockroaches in my hair -- Last night, I was leaving the bathroom in the dark, in mid-sleepwalk fashion, and this fast-moving object flew through my hair and brushed my cheek. Not only did it scare me, but it gave me that eerie feeling that makes you squeal and throw a quick fit (which I did). Jerked suddenly awake, I scanned the air around me with my flashlight and saw a cockroach scurrying back up my closet door. Gross. I felt violated. Back to bed for me, a little bit spooked.
Group pic -- Today at school, we had our all-campus and then all-staff photo. This was not announced prior to today, and as life seems to go, I hadn't taken a shower. Well, it was mad chaos (borderline organized chaos) getting everyone together. Ten o'clock recess rolled around -- time to head to the soccer field for the pic. People had forgotten, and I was trying to round up faculty and students here and there assuming we were still taking the picture. Surprisingly, the elementary students were organized first and somewhat patient in waiting for the picture-taking to begin. Of course, when the shutter was going off, no one was truly looking at the camera, and we couldn't really hear the photographer counting 1-2-3 or uno, dos, tres...was he? That should be an interesting product.
HEAT -- Hot as Hades. Wish I was joking or being exaggerative. Good Lord, it is hot. I feel much like my clothes have been painted on, and then they're melting off as the day goes on. Quite a change from last week; Mosaic work team from Ohio took all of the breezy, cooler weather with them when they left. (Come back!...like that's the only reason I wish they were still here.)
Spring Cleaning? -- There is a cubby in the classroom above the amphitheatre that needs cleaning out. Anyone who knows me well, (hey you, reading this), knows I love cleaning out things. I volunteered to clean out this area, and there was a time today that was perfect for such a cleaning break. If I wasn't hot before, I only got hotter smothered without a breeze in the little black hole of a space. This classroom would be placed in the semi-outdoor space category, so there's an open hole to the amphitheatre on one wall. There were spiderwebs; spiders in those webs; rat and bat droppings; mildewed, wet papers; dirt, dust, and more dirt and dust. I was scared to lift up papers and scrap pieces of filthy cardboard fearing what may surprise me from underneath. Thankfully, no such surprises occurred. I'm not finished just yet, but I had a great start. "Accomplished" would be a good word to describe the feeling I love to have when I've cleaned and organized a space. What all was in that hole you ask? A tall file cabinet, a chair, Scrabble, files, papers, candles in glass cups, maracas, a drum, books, carpet mats, a cardboard box of paint, a music CD, and a few other things that all aid in cluttering a space.
Art pictures -- This week, my main project has been taking pictures of students' artwork made throughout the semester, to help catalog and save Doulos students' work. Again, if you know me, you know I would love something like this -- a project, involving art and organization. Yes, please. I love taking pictures and the time alone. I love looking through the beautiful creations Erin has helped them create. It's a good reminder of how much I love photography too. I feel blessed in my internship positions for many reasons. Reason 506: I get to experience lots of different tasks and see so many angles of Doulos, its staff, and students.
Trying me -- That's what life here at Doulos does, mainly because we are lacking so many foreign comforts that are easily found in a US school setting. It's a good lacking, in my opinion. In fact, that's something I'll majorly miss when I go home -- being tried frequently. For my example, I'm referring to my art-picture-cataloging project. I don't have a computer to use and have to therefore wait until a stationary computer is available, or until I'm able to "check out" a library laptop to use. I have to go to and from Jonathan's upstairs loft office to the library in the other building to gather things I need for this project, like the camera. We have one campus camera to use. Oh, you need it right now? Ok, I'll work on this later. Flexibility, my friends. It's a good trait to work on or possess. Trying. The camera angle is slightly funky and doesn't take the picture like I see it in the viewfinder; take 4 for Picture #1. I don't possess memory sticks at school, and we have two-or one-stationary computer to use that has a USB drive available when I do need to use a memory stick. So, yeah. You get the gist.
Talent -- Staying on the whole art-review project theme, these kids have talent! Go, artists, go. Ms. Erin's got it goin' on as far as teaching goes. Talk about creativity and true craftsmanship!
Big A** Fans -- I just heard about this fan company you may be aware of already, but check it out for yourself. They made the fan that spins above check-in at the Santiago airport here. That is one BIG A** fan.
Music -- Thank you, God, for music. He never ceases to lift my spirits with His tunes. Right now, John Coltrane's "Vilia" is playing sweet melodies to my ears. I can feel like I am burning in these flames hot as blue blazes, and then my music transports me to a dreamlike state far, far from here and my feigned misery. What is one of the things I miss most about home? Live music. Concerts. Dancing to live music. Feeling the pluck of a bass's strings in my heart, a piano's soothing and energetic ascension. I could continue to describe, but then I might start crying. I'd say I'm doing fine if that's all that makes me want to cry.
We Wear Giant Capes -- Or so says Ciara, our 5th grade teacher. She described my sweaty mane of thick waves draping my neck perfectly. Hair sometimes feels like a cape. Superheroes look free in their costumes, right? Well, when I am hot, all I feel is trapped and smothered with this cape of hair seemingly tied around my neck throughout the day.
Young Life -- I was so excited to help Tim sing worship at YL club this past Tuesday night. For me, I look forward to those nights so much. I am not a leader and therefore cannot and do not attend clubs regularly; I only go when I am needed for worship. We sang "The Reason," "How to Save a Life," and U2's ballad to God, "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." Skits were a riot, the message was powerful and rockin', and kids were abundant. Praise the Lord.
Honest Kiss -- U2's "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" sings "I have kissed honest lips...but I still haven't found what I'm lookin' for." We are told in Proverbs 24:26 that "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips." If you've kissed someone, you know how amazing that is. If you haven't, you can imagine. "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips." How crazy is that?! Honesty is exactly as they say -- refreshing and hard to find. Well, maybe the kissing part isn't hard for you to find, but when it happens is it not great? I don't really give kisses out these days, but I do strive to be honest. I want my life to be an honest picture of walking with Christ. I want my answers to be honest, even when it's painful because as Proverbs tell us, to both parties it really should be like giving -- and I think receiving a kiss on the lips. Honesty. Try on being sexy for size. You know what I mean. There's nothing better than a Godly kind of sexy that has nothing to do with clothes on or off. See Rob Bell's Sex God for more of that bit.
True Rejection -- This is what's on my heart right now. Boy is God breaking me and giving me a reality check -- or a "God-in-my-life-check." In the book we're reading with our Bible study (Beth Moore's "Praying God's Word: Breaking Free From Spiritual Strongholds"), we studied Rejection this week. How powerful of a hold we let that feeling have on our lives. Blech. Ridiculous. They don't like me, I don't look cute, I'm not dating anyone when friends are getting married. LIES. Straight from you know who. Thankfully, God won't and doesn't stand for it. However, we've got to tap into that goodness He gives! I'm also reading this teenage girl book right now (yes, and I don't feel rejected by your thoughts-joke) called Girlfriend, You're a B.A.B.E.! I'm on "A." for "Accepted." I am so accepted, and you are too -- even if you're a boy reading this or a man or father or however you would describe yourself. I've got some blocks that need to be torn down between me and God. I have been here this whole time loving the work God's done in my life, which is so good; in reality, there's a lot more that needs to be done. I'm not truly trusting Him with my heart and His plans for one day "meeting Mr. Right." I've experienced healing from past relationships, I've grown in selflessness and grown out of selfishness (no, I'm sure not fully), I can now see myself married to someone one day soon rather than how I used to think about marriage -- 10 plausible years down the road. Well, Miss Maddie, do you not find your acceptance in Him? I am never, never, ever rejected by God. I am praised by Him and welcomed by Him. My Daddy. God's changed my heart toward that one special relationship, and now I give Him my timing and hopes. 1 Samuel 12:22 I am His and no other's. As I almost wrote "for now," I change it to "now" I am fully content in that knowledge and choose to walk in faith. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Snakes in the Cafe -- Well now, Maddie. That's deceiving. That snake was welcome in the cafe. After school, I was running an errand and walking past the cafe. I heard all of these kids squealing with excitement and nervousness, and I looked over to see Chad holding a boa around his neck. I jumped up with my own excitement to pet it with an "Awww" sound releasing from my mouth. He asked me if I wanted to hold it, and of course my answer was yes! I carried it around, as it continued to constrict itself into a smaller form close to my neck, in perfect snake-like form. Kids wanted to see, wanted to touch -- and quickly pull away. They asked me so many questions I didn't really know the answer to, but I have to say, those snake-holding moments topped my list of best moments of the day. A 3rd grader had brought it to school for Chad to let go behind his house in the mountains. We don't have poisonous snakes here, only poisonous spiders. A friend asked what would happen if he bit me. I said, well, it would hurt but he's not poisonous. And there's comfort in that, right?
Staff Awards -- Today, we had to turn in a form filled out with our nominees for staff awards in true Doulos style. The categories were for one winner in each of the Outward Bound Expeditionary Learning Design Principles, for an overall best teacher and "Doulos of the Year" (see Philippians 2:5-8) staffer, and for each of the following character traits: Honesty, Self-Control, Trustworthiness, Humility, Faithfulness, Patience/Perseverance, Love, Goodness, and Kindness.
Done. And DONE.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
What's Been Shakin' Down South...
props to Julie Haylsip (middle right, blonde in black tee) - taken atop Spirit Mountain
A Typical Friday - April 16...
Had a killer nacho dinner at Erica's, with mango on the side and headed over to worship at Patrick and Erin's house. I walked around town for a bit with my pack on my back since I was heading to the Villas the next day; I felt so traveler-esque, and so American. A blondie with a pack roaming around town in Chaco's. Stereotyping made easy.
It turned into a karaoke night after having a blast lifting our voices to the Lord; Patrick continued to play on with Hootie and the Blowfish and other classic rock favorites. (Oh, and how could you forget desserts galore?) Praise night is my absolute fav.
Kymberlee and I walked back with Whitney and spent the night at her house. Even though the work team was coming the next morning, I stayed up spending time on frivolous things like Facebook, allowing myself to indulge in the internet.
Work Team Arrival - Saturday, April 17...Roomie, Jess's birthday
There are no curtains in the guest room, and Kymberlee and I awoke with the sun (Good Morning, Earth!) -- and many roosters, of course. Whit made us french toast, and I packed up my things to hop in the taxi when Gio arrived honking. Off to the airport again. I look forward to the rides with Gio, learning more about each other and practicing Spanish, on my end that is.
Mosaic was on the way from Ohio to New York to you guessed it, here. Check out their site to learn more about this amazing community in Christ.
Meet the crew...all-around fantastic friends, brothers, and sisters
Guys:
Ted Kruse- pastor, comedian (given title)
Kevin Locke- business owner, consultant, strategist, dad
Zach Locke- High School soccer, working/playing with kids
Ben Locke- High School soccer, I love kids!
Jack Thompson- High School soccer, skits, guitar, love kids
Brock Kertoy- college grad, evangelism, encouragement, soccer
Dave Smith- dad, drama, graphic design, sign maker, creative, insightful, love kids, draw, paint
Girls:
Alissa Kruse- mom and mom-to-be, kindergarten teacher, creative, leader, loves kids, teachers
Nicole Rice- mom, art teacher, creative, painter, organization, leading, excercise
Colleen Locke- mom, discipleship, design, creative, store owner - vintage interior design stuff
KC Locke- High School Volleyball, teaching kids, love kids
Julie Hayslip- social worker/Child services, talking, listening, leadership, crafts
Michelle Surrena- mom, art teacher, acting, painter, good with kids
Erika Hayslip- mom, R.N. (nurse), creativity, crafts, problem solving
Quick rundown of the day: "Hi, group!" at the airport where we loaded and met briefly.
-rested at the Villas for a minute
-had some grub made by the cafe: delicious tuna sandwiches and other wraps
-took a tour of Doulos where I tried my best to explain things and give a tour of campus without the buildings being unlocked
-got fresh and ate dinner before heading over to school
-where there was a bluegrass concert put on by the US Embassy's cultural branch at Centro Franklin..."The Student Loan" played, and man did they play. I was excited to see the workteam -- and Dominicans' -- response to bluegrass on a Saturday night. I was not disappointed with people dancin', hoopin', hollerin' and clappin'. I got up and danced around a bit too -- as previously mentioned, it's impossible to listen to bluegrass sitting still.
Sunday, April 18 - Tryin' out church...
I remember what it was like for me the first time at La Vid (the vine) -- overwhelming, exciting, and foreign. I imagine it was a lot of the same for the workteam.
We had some mango and cereal, then headed over to church at 10. We were surprisingly early. Music and worship was intense and all-in as it should be and as it always is there.
The group loved Pastor Luis singing a "Bienvenidos" song during the greeting time, where people travel all over the church not simply to the row behind them.
We had an interesting couple with YWAM (Youth with a Mission) and their son talk about their new ministry in Azerbaijan, near Iraq. They used to live in the DR and were back for a visit to share about their new ministry. The husband spoke for the message, which was a bit ironic; our group from Ohio came all the way from the US to hear an American speak at church. He talked about something that has really been on my heart in my time here, something that God has been showing me a lot about how to defeat -- strongholds. Por ejemplo, 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
The group had lots of mixed reviews and opinions of the sermon, so it was a fun discussion throughout the afternoon.
We had lunch at church afterward, and I really enjoyed being the only ones in the open space of the shed, with the breeze blowing through and mountains in the background. (I love the view from La Vid.) Order up: huge carrot slices, tortilla chips, and ham sandwiches -- pretty un-Dominican. We changed clothes and headed up to Manabao to see Spirit Mountain.
Spirit Mountain is the cafe farm owned by Chad Wallace (Doulos Project Manager) and another partner. You drive out in a taxi to the bottom of the mountain, passing by all of these little houses and driving down windy, rocky roads where at the end you get out to hike. The hike starts out with a somewhat questionable suspension bridge, and when you get to the gate, you've hit Spirit Mountain. While Chad was explaining a bit about the coffee and how it's produced to us, Keren, his 7th grade daughter, was running around chasing baby chicks. I wanted to join in.
Then, we headed up by the river on the trail that the last Mosaic team cleared out. Some of the views look tropical, others remind me of home, while still some look like I could have been gazing out from a European mountaintop onto goats and green spances below.
When we reached the top, the view and almost equally the breeze were both killer. The stone stepping path was just put in by the 4th graders the week before, making it easier to get from the water source to the sheltered kitchen.
Sunday night, we hung out at the villas and enjoyed each other's company. Devo times are always special, especially with Mosaic!
Monday, April 19 - First day of chaos at school...
We started off the day right by making it to staff prayer on time!! (Woohoo! resounds in my head.) Afterward, the group checked out morning flag where we have student assembly: prayer, "Doulos" display of creativity, the pledge, and morning announcements.
Then, they participated in what we call a BBK (Building Background Knowledge) on Education in the Dominican Republic. It's a fun time for groups to learn more about education, while challenging themselves to engage and learn with the bits and pieces of information given. At the end, each group presents to the whole with a large web they've created.
During this time, I was trying to figure out exactly where everyone was heading. I decided to take it one day at a time. All of the teachers hadn't filled me in on when/where they needed help, and some didn't need help at all throughout the week. That meant creative problem solving needed to come into play -- (enter Maddie).
Some days run together, and I can't remember if this afternoon was one where Mosaic crew played some soccer with our kids, but that happened a few times throughout the week. Did I mention they were mad-skilled at soccer?? (for the whole, that is)
Tonight, teachers were hosting the team, which was something new and fun for everyone to participate in. I got a last minute text to join Jack, Nicole, and Julie at Tim & Whitney's house. (Yes!) I was going to hang out by myself, and although I was exhausted I love feeding off of others and re-energizing. We had amazing fajitas, homemade salsa, and a smorgasboard of dessert. I've never liked lemon squares more. The best part of the evening was the conversation, where we all exchanged stories about our lives and got to know each other.
We came back and shared our times with one another -- what did you have to eat, where did you go, what did you talk about, what did you learn. I know a lot of the Mosaic peeps loved hearing about life as a missionary here.
Tuesday, April 20 - on a roll...
BREAKFAST. We had a huge breakfast, full of choices almost every morning at Cafe Taino. What a surprise! Cheese, scrambled eggs with fixin's, grilled cheese/ham treats, juice, hot chocolate, toast, oatmeal, the list goes on...
Folks were squeezed in here and there again. Praise the Lord for patience and grace, because
Mosaic needed a lot throughout the week. They had to depend on me to tell them when and where to be, and it was not always immediate that they got those directions.
I really enjoyed the challenges presented to this team, because although they were different than one would expect on an average mission trip (i.e. physical tests, poverty...). Many were challenged by the slow, somewhat disorganized pace and way of life here in the Dominican Republic. We come from such a go-go-go society in America, where our culture appreciates material goods and use of time, the amount of your success, and so many other things that don't make much sense to me now. Our group was challenged by this throughout the week, and at the beginning I didn't have so much hope. By the end, God had really turned things inside out and showed up where He was least expected.
Here are some ideas of what Mosaic did throughout the week:
Erika, R.N. - helped with hearing/eye checks
Kevin, Jack, Zach, Ben, Brock - building lights for the garden (and working their bottoms off), digging trenches in the garden, moving rocks, you name it
Julie, Colleen, KC - helped Ciara in 5th grade, Erica in 1st, Amanda in 4th...
Dave - working on signs in the woodshop - and on paper in the library
Alissa - kindergarten teacher aid extraordinare
Time for family dinners!
--
There's so much more I want to write, but for now I'll have to conclude. If you want to know anything at all about the week, know that God stirred and moved. He shook and brought joy, tears and hope. Friendships were built, and memories were made -- ones I think will last a lifetime, but that's my opinion. Personally, I cherish my friends at Mosaic and can't wait to see them next.
Much love to you! Peace in Christ always.
Art at its finest
Please take some time to glance at beautiful final products from expedition week! All thanks due to the wonderful Mrs. Erin Pace, an art teacher muy talentosa y fabulosa y sus estudiantes y sus duro trabajo.
8th Grade Freshwater Ecosystems
-Christian-
-Marleny-
8th Grade Watercolor Pattern
-Darwing-3rd Grade Symmetry Study
-Nathan- 2nd Grade Line & Transparent Color
-Daniel-2nd Grade Australian Animals
-Cristina-
-Marberlin- 1st Grade "I Can Draw an Elephant"
-Helenita-High School Silhouettes--Sunset & Sunrise
-Sarah-
-Mariana-
-Glenys-
-Carter-
-Tobi-This is what I did all week. Hope you enjoyed the pictures.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Expedition Night
I will write more later (promise), but last Thursday night we had a grand celebration of hard work and learning at Expedition Night. My friend, Meredith Morton, and her 2nd grade class was spotlighted by the local Jarabacoa newspaper. Check out the pics and story, (and grab the opportunity to practice your Spanish!).
Oh...Colleen, a new friend from Mosaic church in Ohio, helped me make the train painting in the picture.
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